Stress

Oh the stress.  Your brow is furrowed.  Your face twisted in thwarted ways to portray nothing but angst.  The constant phrase is repeated incessantly.  Anxiety overtakes.  Nothing else can be seen.  One focus.  

“I need my shiny brown Lightneen!”  

Oh, dearest Kainoa.  I think you spend 38% of your life looking for your cars.  We can be in the middle of a nice meal and with no apparent trigger, you remember you forgot.  You forgot where you put your water Lightneen.  Or your pushing one.  Or the one that Nana got for you.  Or, or, or.  

None of us have any form of rest until that silly car is in your hands, safe and loved.  

Oh, the stress of it all.

You have that down pat.  The stress part.  

Not the dealing with it part.  You woke me up at 4:30 yesterday morning with a blood curdling scream.  

I need my teeny Lightning from Auntie Wendy!  

The night was over.  

So we are working on the dealing with it part.  

We aren’t have much success.  But that’s ok.  I don’t know how to deal with stress yet either.   So let’s do it together, kiddo.  

Someone awed at my apparent emotional stability the other day.  I laughed.  Did she not see the book on my nightstand?  “SOS Help for the Emotions.”  True story.  

I’m not there yet.  

So Kainoa, you spend your time searching anxiously for your cars.  I lose immunization records and speech therapy worksheets, giving up precious moments and trading them for anxiety filled wasted ones.  Useless.

You wake up in the wee hours of the morning remember that you gave the dog a bit of food that you now are convinced you want.  And no matter how many times daddy opens the dog’s mouth for you to find it, it’s not still there are you can’t have it.  I spend too much time googling furniture, homeschool supplies, clothes, whatever, wishing I could have what I don’t.  

Stress over uselessness.  What’s wrong with me, people?  There are real stressors out there.  Legitimate reasons to throw up your hands in surrender.

But instead, Kainoa, we are here whining and complaining and wasting and stressing and turning inward with stress.  

So, let’s do this thing together.  

But let’s start with understanding each other.  Your stress is real and your worries are true.  I get it.  I get you.  

Maybe that’s enough for now.