Anela Jo

You were oh so relaxed, baby.  You eased us into labour, slowing preparing to come out and meet us.  I waited and waited, knowing it would be any time but having to wait just a little more than I wanted to - I was so anxious to meet you.  Even when you made the decision to come, you took your time.  What’s the rush?  Maybe you knew that you were getting a mama that has to strive to not rush in life.  Maybe you were already teaching me to relax.  But thank you, sweet girl, for hurrying it up there at the end.  When you decided it was time to come on out of the dark and into my arms it was a wild ride - a quick, intense, exciting, and memorable ride.  I will always remember exactly (well, maybe not exactly) how it felt as you were entering the world - I felt every part of it and knew exactly when you were completely with us.  I heard your sweet cry immediately and knew that Malana’s fear that you wouldn’t cry was unnecessary.  You were healthy, perfect, and surprisingly big!  7 lbs 15 ounces.  Born at 3:35 pm on October 26.  Anela Jo Futcher.  

I was spread eagle, torn in multiple places in my most sensitive area from your grand entrance, shaking uncontrollably from the intensity of it all, looking at the nurse (who caught you because the doctor wasn’t fast enough for you) hand you to me.  You were covered in all that stuff that babies are covered with and you snuggles in immediately and started to nurse.  Heavenly bliss.  Somehow, bleeding, ripped, torn, and legs spread out on the bed with that dear doctor puncturing me with needles and doing a full fledged sewing project down under as he chatted about he Calgary floods just faded in the background.  It was you and it was me.  Together still.  Just able to see each other.  

We spent the next night and day together.  You mostly just slept and nursed and pooped and snuggled.  And I mostly just fell deeper in love with you than I already was.  You see, you’d been mine for nine months already, but now I could kiss you and smell you and feel you.  Absolute bliss.  

Big sister and big brother came to see you right away - you were only an hour old.  “This mine baby isser,” was repeated (at minimum) fifty three times by Kainoa, who is so proud that you are his.  He refuses to admit that you are also mine, or Malana’s or Daddy’s.  In his two year old mind, you are just his.  We will let him think that for now.  And Malana?  Well she just can’t get enough of holding you.  She brought you those rattles for your wrists and ankles that that when you cry you can hear them and maybe it will make you happy.  You will have every opportunity to know the names of all the Disney Princesses and will have ample opportunities to play cars.  You will have choices of who you want to be.  But you probably won’t be able to avoid your nails being painted by your big sister.

And your Daddy - he swaddles you like an old pro, knowing just how to hold you and make you comfy.  He’s got you covered, baby.  You will want for nothing in this life and always have everything you need, most importantly a Daddy who thinks everything of you and has got your back.  Lucky girl, indeed.

And now we are home.  First day together at home.  Most of your day was spent in my arms, Malana’s arms, or Kainoa’s arms.  So many forehead kisses from Kainoa, who proceeds each kiss with “That makes her so happy!”  And Malana loves to let you grasp her finger and feel your sweet lips.  We survived the first day at home with only a few squabbles over who gets to hold you first.

And now we look forward to tomorrow, the day after, and the years to come.  There will be days when I will seem a little crazy.  I’ve had plenty of those and will have plenty more.  Then there will be days where we may seem a little over zealous with crafting, learning, erranding, park playing, cooking and working.  Maybe a little overwhelming.  But then there will be those days, or even just those moments, when we all sit down together.  Like we did this evening on our bed when we read books together, snuggled up.  Those moments when we remember that we belong to each other.  That we realize how we were put together by the Creator Himself to take care of each other.  Those times when we know that we were meant to learn to love by learning to love each other.  

Anela,  You are my little angel indeed.  So calm (for now!) easy to love, and absolutely perfect just the way you are.  I am so excited to watch you grow and develop in character and personality.  But let’s not rush it.  I’m loving listening to your fresh satisfied grunts, watching your little lips suckle, feeling your chest rise and fall as you naturally breathe, and smelling your newborn skin.  

Anela Jo.  Named to remind us of your Daddy’s roots, our sweet angel.  And to be the namesake of my own Nana, who was filled with love unlike I’ve seen before.  It is my prayer that you will be enveloped by and filled with that same Heavenly love every day of your sweet life.