How to be Happy in an Unhappy World (spoiler - I don't give the answer)

I don’t love my kids’ birthdays.  

Don’t get me wrong - I love the cake, the balloons, the presents, and mostly, the excitement and smiles from my littles, but mostly, I don’t like them.  

I kissed my 3 year old for the last time today as a 3 year old.  I witnessed his last of many 3 year old tantrums and demands.  He will never again steal a toy from baby sister again as a 3 year old.  And he will never again, as a 3 year old, tell me he loves me “a little bit.”  No more infectious 3 year old smiles and giggles.  There are just too many lasts.

Once the birthdays actually arrive, I do ok.  The lasts turn to new firsts, and the excitement of unopened presents and too much frosting take over.  

But it reminds me of how joy, happiness, peace, contentment are often harder to attain than I thought.  After all, whenever there is life, there is the promise of it ending.  Whenever there is safety, there is the surety of countless children in danger.  Whenever there is financial peace, there is the reminder that it won’t last.  When young love, or infatuation, begins, there is the knowledge that the first fight is coming.  Whenever my child is healthy, it may not last.  As it certainly didn’t last for the families sleeping at the bedsides of their children with cancer.  

So where does that leave us?  Do we just blindly accept joy when we feel it, knowing that others are suffering and we will eventually also?  Do we just embrace the day, seize the moment, as they say?  

After a bit of a stressful day recently, I paused as the fighting of my kids stopped and the love began.  Their laughter together, their giggles, their smiles, and their joy took over.  They were oblivious to anything else.  In that moment, I knew that I was beyond lucky.  Past fortunate.  Experiencing what many will never and most aren’t.  I do understand and practise gratefulness.  

But I’m finding it increasingly difficult to embrace my good fortune, my blessings, my karma, depending on how you see it.  

How can I be purely happy when I see a beautiful living flower that will die?  

Once again, don’t get me wrong.  The intention is not to be depressing or to display some sort of dissatisfaction with my life.  I really wouldn’t change a thing.

Rather, my goal here is simply to figure out what it means to be ok with being content, happy, joyful, at peace, in a world that is full of too many lasts.

Please - e-mail me your suggestions at tlfutcher@gmail.com.

I have to go wrap some presents for my 3 year old, soon to be 4 year old, boy.

Lots of love…