6th Birthday!

Ladybugs.  When I was pregnant with my 5 year old, the theme of her nursery was my main concern.  I chose ladybugs.  Note to all who might buy a gift for said nursery - it’s gonna be ladybugs.  She will like ladybugs.  Her room will wear ladybugs.  There needs to be a theme.  Clearly.  

I mean, how else will a baby have consistency, predictability, safety?  How will she know what to expect, where her home, and where she belongs?  

It’s all in the ladybugs.  

I don’t have the ladybug stuff anymore.  I gave it all away to a newly pregnant mother.  She understood the need for a consistent theme.  

But, you see, my plan didn’t work.  What I THOUGHT I would be - what I thought SHE would be, didn’t pan out.  The crib was a useless investment, as my previously convicted sleep-in-her-own-room mantra changed to a new oh-darling-just-snuggle-with-me-all-night-long self.  The bottles I carefully researched and purchased mostly just sat in the drawer.  The playpen remained stowed away in the closet.  And the mental image I’d imagined of me wearing cute summer dresses while strolling with my stroller and happy baby down the sidewalk didn’t, in reality, have quite as groomed of feel.  

But mostly, the ladybugs didn’t work.  They didn’t create recreate the hallmark image of new motherhood that I anticipated.  

I’m a different mama than I thought I would be.

And darling - you are a much different baby than I thought you’d be.  

You’ve surprised me.  From the start - as the nurse pointed out only minutes after you were born - you’ve been a girl who knows what she wants.  You have quite the way of getting it, too.  You’re smart, you’re convincing, and you know how to negotiate.  Use those skills wisely.  

You are a natural leader - when you’re not home with us, your little brother waits impatiently for you - “She’s so kind and so fun,” he says.  You are one of the 2 people he claims to love.  You lead him and love him.

You love any kind of craft - you could craft all day and all night long.  

You love to wear a dress, or a few dresses, every day.  You are definitely not me!

You love to have friends.  You speak kindly of them and love to see them.

Malana- from the start, everything I thought I would be as a parent has changed.  You have challenged me, stretched me, forgiven me, and loved me.

Happy 6th Birthday, Malana!