Gifts

To my girls.  I tell you this from experience.  I am a sister, and I have a sister.  So I am telling you these things so that you know.  I want you to know.

I love you both equally.  There will be times, likely many, when you are convinced that the other one is my favourite.  It’s not true.  You are each unique and have your own struggles and strengths.  I love them all and although I love you differently, you both take the title of my favourite.  I can have multiples favourites.  

You are two girls growing up together - in the same house, with the same people to choose as friends, with the same imperfect discipline and the same, well, clothes and toys.  You will probably think that your sister is prettier, smarter, and has more friends.  Trust me - your sister is thinking the same thing about you.  While you are secretly wishing you could be more like her, she is privately hoping that she can be more like you.  

When you are hurting, or have health struggles, although your sister won’t tell you, she is hurting too.  Because she has no choice but to be in pain when she sees yours.  It may be a hard thing for her to express and admit, but please know that she hurts too.

And when you excel, succeed, and have a happy heart, she’s really proud of you.  She’s proud that you got that award, that you performed that song on the piano flawlessly, and she’s just plain happy that she can be associated and connected with you in the eyes of the people watching.  Again, she probably won’t let on at all.

Please know that you will fight.  And that’s ok.  You’re learning on each other how to deal with people that will come into your lives.  How you will deal with conflict and your anger.  You will say things you will later regret and you will be irrational.  But try to remember that even though you will hurt her and she will hurt you, she will still be there next year, in 5 years, and in 25 years.  She’s yours to keep.

Ultimately, realize her as she is - a gift to you.  My girls, you are gifts to each other.  For when you are all grown up, or at least trying to work on it, and have kidlings of your own, it is her that you will turn to.

It is her that is always at the top of your texting feed.  It is her that you call when your kid did something cute that you know no one else would care about.  You’ll know that you can complain about things to your sister that you wouldn’t bring up to others.  She won’t think you’re a downer, she’ll just listen and agree with you, even if you’re being silly.  You will phone your sister, esp if she is a doctor, at all hours when your first baby gets her first runny nose and you think she has all sorts of googled diseases.  She will calm you and assure you without making you feel unreasonable, even though you are.  She will fly across the country, spending hard earned money, just to show up at your baby shower and surprise you.  She will treat your kids like they are her own and love them like they are the best.  Yes, she will even babysit your kids as she is sick and vomitting so that you can get your rotten back teeth extracted and roots dug out by her husband.  

Girls, we are giving you each other as  gifts to each other.  You are a forever beautiful part of each other's lives.   If you don’t fully understand that yet, you will.

Believe me, I know.